LIVING THE DREAM (OR JUST SURIVING THE SUMMER) IN IBIZA

The summer busy season does not hit gradually in Ibiza. One day there are bunches of vacant sunbeds, resort rooms and villas. The roads are comfortably very busy and the shops and bistros are hectic but not intolerable. The next day, chaos hits. All of that means that the marvellous whores in Ibiza are kept extremely bustling, it goes without saying at least one-half of the numerous vacationers will be dudes, and a ton of them will want more fucking from the numerous escorts who stream into Ibiza for the summertime period too.

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Of course, the gents with the highest taste are not just shopping for some high jinks, they are hunting for the most desirable escort Ibiza can deliver, or they prefer to hang out with the most perfect escort Ibiza can supply by the hour. And the escort agencies are much more than happy to assist. But be advised; they are just as busy and rushed off their feet (pun intended !) as everyone else in the pleasure industry so do not squander their time with vague questions or browsing and collecting pictures of scantily clothed sex idols. In Spring or Autumn you will obtain a pleasant and extensive response. In mid August, possibly much less so!

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Ibiza is much less badly designed than locations like Marbella, where during the summertime the A7 turns into a large car park from Malaga through all the way to Gibraltar. Puerto Banus in particular turns into a slow proceeding traffic jam the likes of that London did not experience prior to the Congestion Charges. For those who do not know, Puerto Banus is in effect arranged around four traffic islands. Which is marvellous in the winter months, and I am sure looks brilliantly balanced from a helicopter. But in the high point of season it means that once one roundabout is full (usually the roundabout with the magnificent rhino on it) then cars heading to it can not move, that fills the following one, and the following one and the following one. Think of a model car track with one car jamming both lanes. Now keep putting in vehicles and see what materializes!

That is not true of Ibiza, with the exception of the exit from the main road near Pacha that goes to the harbour. That is perhaps because Ibiza has built up more naturally rather than dealing with being designed on a notepad. Even so, at peak moments the E10 from Es Cana is absolutely full of traffic heading into Ibiza town. The roads from San Josep and San Antonio not so much, but nevertheless swamped. But pretty much everywhere else; gosh! It is entirely possible to walk from one end of the seafront at San Antonio to the other without even coming in contact with sand, just stepping from one olive-brown supple beach bod to another.

And almost every piece of holiday accommodation is taken from mid July to the end of August. You could most likely get 1,000 euros for a month on a park seat; and in Ibiza I am sure someone has tried. As it is quite frequent for people to shell out for holiday accommodation that either does not exist or has someone already living in it. Not everyone in Ibiza can be trusted.